T minus freakout.

I like(d) my job.

I have to keep reminding myself that before I had a baby, I liked my job.  It was my social outlet, my brain food, my place to wear cute outfits.  But now, I’m not that same person any more.  I have a new job.  And it’s super, super important.

We are interviewing a nanny tonight and Chris has had his radioactive iodine treatment (hopefully now we can say good-bye to cancer!) and is in “isolation” at his mom’s house.  We miss him!  He will be joining us for the interview over Skype.  It’s lame all around.  The nanny, the radioactive iodine, the going back to work.

We are interviewing a nanny because we didn’t get into either day care we were hoping to have B attend after my maternity leave.  We’ve been on waiting lists since August 2013.  Now we’re on several other waiting lists for many other day cares.

Let me tell you, Denver, if there is an infant opening at a day care, you won’t want to take your baby there.  I’ve seen cinderblock homes in Lakewood dubbed “academies” and “teachers” who look like they’ve been dragged out of a back alley and put in charge of wee babies.  The choices out there for infant care are clear to me after searching for weeks; Hire a nanny or get into a top-tier day care (pay beaucoup bucks for each) or stay home with your little babe (and forget ever retiring or being able to send your child to college.)

The United States stinks when it comes to options for new mothers.  Oh.  You’re six or eight weeks postpartum?  Pony up and drop your kid somewhere because you need to get back to work to pay your rent.  And I’m a lucky mother.  I have used five weeks of my earned vacation time for maternity leave.  To complete a full 12 week leave, I am taking the remainder of my time off unpaid through the Family Medical Leave Act (and through choices C and I were fortunate to be able to make).  Not everyone can do this.  In fact, I would wager a guess and say most new mothers can’t do this and are unable to spend this valuable time with their children.  Want more breastfed babies?  Give moms more time to stay home and do it.  I have a feeling there are twenty-five more posts hiding in here…but I’ll stop at this.

It feels bleak!

How can I leave my little muffin in another person’s care?  Especially now that he knows me, it’s even more difficult to think about a future that’s staring me in the face.  I don’t want to fail at this job.

One thought on “T minus freakout.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>